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Jeff was a fairly famous model, appearing in teen magazines across the country, known for his boyish good looks and his wide smile. To the outsider, his life was good. He didn't have to go to high school like other kids his age, he didn't have to endure the regular trials of teenage years, and girls everywhere taped his pictures to their walls. He brushed elbows with movie stars and singers, and had everything a young man could want.

At least, that's what it looked like on the outside.

No one knew the reality of his life, the endless photo shoots that stretched from the early morning until late into the night, the ache of standing and posing, the cattiness of the people he had to work with. If everyone else wanted the glamorous life of a model, all Jeff wanted was a normal one. A life where he could get a full night's sleep, where he could eat whatever he wanted and wear whatever he wanted and socialize with whoever he wanted, to go to class, to go on dates. To be unknown and unnoticeable.

It seemed like he was doomed from the start, he felt. As far back as he could remember, everyone had always commented on his looks.

"Look at those eyes," they would say, leaning down to peer into them. "Those are eyes that stay with you."

"Look at that smile," they said. "You should smile more, Jeff. You have such a beautiful smile."

Jeff rarely smiled of his own volition. Usually it was at the insistence of some pushy photographer while his mother, who was also his manager, glared at him from her chair in the corner.

"That isn't right at all, Jeff. You have to look happier. This is a happy shoot, remember? Smile wider. You want to make people happy, don't you? You look like you're half-asleep, that's not going to cut it."

But Jeff was half-asleep, even under the bright lights of the studio. He had not gotten any sleep that night thanks to a tirade from his mother. She was angry that he had not gotten a contract with a watch company; he'd been passed over for someone else, and that was not acceptable.

"This isn't acceptable, Jeffrey. This is completely unacceptable. Do you think this is what I've worked so hard for? For you to lose to this shrimpy little waif? I have a beautiful son, but where's his ambition? Don't you want fame, Jeff? Don't you want people to know who you are? Or do you want to be some little no one wasting your life in some crappy job? Is that what you want, Jeff?"

It was exactly what Jeff wanted, but he said nothing, just stared at the floor.

"You have something special, Jeff. You have a beautiful face. But you're always walking around with your eyes half closed and no smile. You think you could survive without that face?"

In the studio the photographer stepped out from behind the camera and walked over to Jeff, signaling for the other model to give them some space.

"Jeff, open your eyes. You have gorgeous eyes, hon, but you're not letting us see them. You're being all gloomy and it just looks awful. I don't understand. Do you want something? Coffee? What do you want?"

"I just want some sleep," Jeff said, but the photographer laughed.

"Oh, honey, no one sleeps in this business. Get used to it."

"People who succeed don't sleep," snapped Jeff's mother from the corner.

She was annoyed after the shoot. It was already four in the afternoon; they had been there all morning.

"I think you just want to fail sometimes, I really do. You're nothing without your face and you don't even care."

Jeff stood in front of the wall of photos in his house. All his best, wearing designer clothing that cost more than most people could begin to imagine, lounging on elaborate sets, next to beautiful women. He peered closer at the photos, and he realized something.

He barely recognized himself.

It wasn't the makeup and the photo editing, no, it was something else. It was, he realized with a chill, that he simply did not know the face in the photos. The young man in the photos was a stranger, a perfect, unknowable stranger with features he did not recognize.

Whoever this was, it wasn't him.

He ran to the mirror, but there was the face again, not his, but the one from the photograph. It had been his once, but no longer. Now it belonged to the magazines, to the photographers and the agents and the advertisers who used it, molded it to their own needs, dictated its expressions and its emotions, ordered him to smile and smile for the camera. And it belonged to his mother, who thought he was nothing without it. Who thought it was her tool for gaining fame and wealth.

This had gone quite far enough, Jeff decided.

His mother was awakened by the sound of breath, rasping and strange. She shrieked when she opened her eyes, at the horrible face leering down at her. The mouth had been cut along the cheeks into a jagged, permanent grin, now crusted with blood, exposing the rows of white teeth underneath. The cuts were fresh, and blood and spittle ran down his chin. But worst of all were the eyes. They were lidless, ringed in black ash and staring down at her with palpable hatred.

"Jeffrey?"

"Yes, Mommy," the thing said. The thing that was once her son.

"What have you done to yourself?"

"I've made myself beautiful. Don't you like my smile? Aren't I beautiful?"

She scrambled back towards the wall, away from him.

"Aren't I beautiful, Mommy?"

"Yes," she whispered carefully. "Of course you are." Her arm was sliding down the wall behind the bed. To where she kept the gun.

But of course Jeff saw her. He could see everything now, eyes open in the darkness.

"You're lying, Mommy. You're lying to me. But it's alright. I'm beautiful now. Now I'm the way I was supposed to look."

"Jeffrey, what have you done? You're not even my son anymore, you—"

The knife cut her off. The last thing she saw was Jeff's smile, his dead and blackened eyes.

"You said people who succeed don't sleep, Mommy. Well, you've succeeded. You can go to sleep now. Go to sleep."

In the morning, when the police finally came, they found his mother's body lying on the bed, and above it, smeared on the walls in her blood, were written the words

YOU WILL ALL
GO TO SLEEP
I decided to give Jeff a new backstory, because frankly, his original one sucks. I kept a few of the same elements, but decided to focus on the two elements that I found the most interesting: sleep and beauty. The idea of Jeff wanting to be thought of as beautiful is interesting to me, because this desire is usually attributed to female characters, and so I thought it would be fun to explore it with a male character.

I also had the following problems with the original story:

1. Bleach does not permanently whiten your skin. I know this because I've spilled bleach on myself. If anything, it irritates the fuck out of your skin and makes it get red and gross. Peroxide will temporarily lighten skin but the skin will return to its normal color within a day. Also, bleach is not flammable.

2. Getting burned in the way the original story describes would not leave one's hair singed black. It would leave one with no hair at all.

3. The no nose thing bothers me slightly because while I'm aware that sever enough burns can cause someone to lose their nose, they would lose a lot more in the process. And they would still have, to be crude, a hole in their face through which to breathe. The fact the Jeff in his original incarnation has nothing but a smooth bump is completely unrealistic. He has a nose. Sorry. He does.

You can read Jeff's original (sucky) story here, but be aware that it sucks.

I didn't make up Jeff. I think he came from /4chan or something.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmidnightkat1:
MidnightKat1 Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
THANK YOU! This is 1000% times better than the first, and you point out all the issues I had with the original too...like...did the write not understand fire? 
Reply
:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
Ha ha, probably not. I think whoever wrote it was quite young and just didn't know how things work, which is okay. I think they saw the picture and worked backwards to make up an explanation. I honestly wrote this so long ago. I haven't looked at it in forever. Thanks for the compliments, though!
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:iconmidnightkat1:
MidnightKat1 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah I agree, I assumed they were pretty young (which depending on the age you could actually say they did pretty good). So I shouldn't bag on them too much.And no problem! 
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
There are some that'll defend the original to the death, though, which is kinda hilarious. 
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:iconwrittenruse:
WrittenRuse Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2014
Oh gods, THANK YOU!

I like Jeff the Killer, I think he has potential, but I just HATED his original story, for all the aforementioned reasons. Granted, I do have my own take on how I would refurbish his backstory, but this is wonderful in itself. I love the way you attributed his deformities to his constant struggle to be beautiful. As someone who loves symbolism, I have to say, well done!
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks! Yeah, the character had potential--if I didn't think it was there, I wouldn't have gone through the trouble of rewriting it. I'd love to see your version as well! 
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:iconwrittenruse:
WrittenRuse Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014
Really? Thank you! It shouldn't be long now before I have something; I'm keeping a few main aspects of his story, but really adding in more foreshadowing and symbolism, just to tie everything together. It's Jane's story that I'm completely throwing out and just rewriting almost from scratch.
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Yeah, Jane's is even worse, because it's just piggybacking off the (already terrible) Jeff story. But yeah, let me know if/when you get around to rewriting them, because I like seeing other peoples' interpretations. 

Honestly, I haven't looked into the Creepypasta scene in a really long time, so I'm kind of out of the loop.
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:iconwrittenruse:
WrittenRuse Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014
I've started on the pre-writing-draft, I'll let you know when I have something of actual value. I'd love to hear your opinion on my work.

Honestly, I don't keep up with the actual site as much as I should.
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
I haven't kept up with the CreepyPasta site at all. Honestly, while there are some good stories there, they don't seem to really filter anything or have standards, so there's a lot of really bad stuff. If you want better quality, check out SCP (Special Containment Procedures). Good stuff, and the site runs a tighter ship. 
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:iconwrittenruse:
WrittenRuse Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2014
I've heard SCP has some amazing content, but I've been so busy I haven't been able to check it out. Life is always calling, you know? No rest for us weary~
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Yes, I know that all too well!
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:iconsilverscarlet99:
SilverScarlet99 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Student Digital Artist
i prefer this story much better and not just because of the facts you pointed out, this story also is written MUCH better than the original story and it makes his descent into madness more understandable. excellent story
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks! I think the original was likely written by someone quite young, so a lot of it was misinformed and not very well thought-out. Mine's not great by any means, but I like to think I provided an alternative. 
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:iconsilverscarlet99:
SilverScarlet99 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Student Digital Artist
a much better alternate
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:iconcreeperpig126:
Creeperpig126 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I freaking love this more than the original. Well done.
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks!
Reply
:iconcreeperpig126:
Creeperpig126 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yep.
Reply
:iconjolteonultra:
JolteonUltra Featured By Owner May 8, 2014
1. I wholeheartedly agree with your description.

2. This story is pretty nice. Jeff's climb to insanity is much more understandable and reasonable. Although, you could change Jeff's name to another boy name and the story would barely be different. I would also keep Jeff's eyelids.
Reply
:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner May 8, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for your feedback. 
Reply
:iconjolteonultra:
JolteonUltra Featured By Owner May 8, 2014
I can see the headlines: "Teen Model Missing. Manager Killed."
Reply
:iconrandomyori:
RandomYori Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"I also had the following problems with the original story:

1. Bleach does not permanently whiten your skin. I know this because I've spilled bleach on myself. If anything, it irritates the fuck out of your skin and makes it get red and gross. Peroxide will temporarily lighten skin but the skin will return to its normal color within a day. Also, bleach is not flammable.

2. Getting burned in the way the original story describes would not leave one's hair singed black. It would leave one with no hair at all. 

3. The no nose thing bothers me slightly because while I'm aware that sever enough burns can cause someone to lose their nose, they would lose a lot more in the process. And they would still have, to be crude, a hole in their face through which to breathe. The fact the Jeff in his original incarnation has nothing but a smooth bump is completely unrealistic. He has a nose. Sorry. He does. " - Quote from Moon-Phace

THANK YOU! Thank you for pointing these facts out! The bleach one is especially the most annoying of them all because there are people out there who do believe it's possible even though Bleach is caustic and has a similar affect to acid. 
Reply
:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Ha, I know. Fact-checking is SO your friend! I think the original author was just trying their best to explain the image and made the bleach=white correlation based on, like, laundry. 

But yeah, I'm all for fact-checking and stuff. Poor research bothers the hell out of me. 
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:iconrandomyori:
RandomYori Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah. What bothers me is that people actually believe the bleach theory. Some are even trying to say that the bleach protected the hair from burning off and stuff.
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Wow, I've never heard that craziness. There's a commenter somewhere on here who thinks, and I guess several people do, that "Jeff the Killer" is a real person and the story is based on actual events. I only hope they aren't that gullible in real life. 
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:iconrandomyori:
RandomYori Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, he himself may not be real but there is a chance that someone would cut their face up like that and try to be just like him in his honor. I made a video pointing out the facts and flaws in that story just for Halloween funsies. It blew way out of proportion though... hence the bleach theories... Plus later on some of the things I found were proven to be fake. Damn Google betrayed me like it betrayed YouTube.
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Can you link me the video? I'd love to see it. 

Ugh, I hope some fan-child doesn't decide to pay homage to the dumb story like that. I could see some of the goons on this site thinking it was ~edgy~
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:iconrandomyori:
RandomYori Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'll have to warn you. Even I didn't take the research very seriously. It was all for Halloween Funsies anyways. www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjP5gT…

Yeah, I wouldn't say edgy. I would say something more on the lines of a Heath Ledger rip-off. By the way, wasn't that story written around the time The Dark Knight came out?
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
I like your narration. I don't think that newspaper article is real. It's the writing--journalists don't write like that. Also, the "security footage" is a photo manip from here on dA. I've seen the original. I think they Photoshopped a screencap from a Marilyn Manson video or something. And I mean, the accounts are just kids trolling. If you're a serial killer, the last thing you want is the cops tracking your IP address. I've used "Jeff the Killer" on sites before (not youtube). 
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(1 Reply)
:iconshewolffire:
SheWolfFire Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014
I do like this one much better
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks! It's pretty rough. I honestly haven't thought about it in years. 
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:iconshewolffire:
SheWolfFire Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014
Your welcome
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:iconsilverscarlet99:
SilverScarlet99 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I only read the beginning of the original and you are right, this one is much better.
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks! 
Reply
:iconpewdiegirl:
pewdiegirl Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
just because you find it sucky, does not, in fact, make it sucky, we are all entitled to our opinions, but for other people to openly state that their opinion is fact, like this "You can read Jeff's original (sucky) story here, but be aware that it sucks" is mainly expressing that you think your opinion is fact, if this is not what you intended, then sorry if i am offending you
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Yeah, but in this case I am actually right. I'm all for people having different tastes and differences of opinion, and that's fine, but in the case of this story, it's bad. Period. The writing is bad, the story nonsensical and the grammar and spelling sub-par. There is always room for interpretation and personal taste, as well as for artistic license, but the original story is just poorly crafted. Believe it or not, there are actually objective standards that go into crafts like writing and art. If something is poorly conceived and poorly constructed, then it is. That's the case with this. I'm not saying you're not allowed to like it (although I can't for the life of me understand why you would), I'm saying that if you do, you probably lack an understanding of the craft of writing and storytelling. 

So yeah, that is what I intended. 
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:iconpewdiegirl:
pewdiegirl Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Jeff the killer is real, he was reported in 2006, and the creepypasta was written in 2010, so therefore, the story was created as his background, and probably based off what people saw, white skin, black fringed hair, and a smile cut into his face, plus, its creepypasta, doesn't have to make sense, it is called semi realistic fantasy, there are many books out there like that, like a really good book i have started reading 'the wolf princess', even harry potter is semi realistic fantasy, and again i say, opinion is not fact, opinion is ones thinking, there is never a real fact of how "good" or "bad" things are, it is all based on each individuals opinion of their mind, and how they think of it
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
I've never heard any proof that this was based on real events. To convince me of that, you'll need some actual evidence. Even on the unlikely chance that it is, the backstory is still fiction, which you said yourself. And the fiction is still bad. As for "it's Creepypasta, it doesn't have to make sense," that's bullshit. Sorry. Stories have to make sense. Fantasy stories, even at their most fantastical, make sense because the authors create universes with rules and thus the stories make sense within their own universes (like Harry Potter, which has a delineation between our world and the wizarding world), but the Jeff story doesn't even do that. There are glaring plot holes and contradictions and it's evident that the person writing it has little understanding of how things work. For example, the brother gets arrested and convicted on no charges--that doesn't happen. Bleach doesn't whiten skin. Severe burns render victims hairless instead of charring hair black (hair burns up immediately and typically doesn't grow back due to scarring). The writer of this story has limited understanding of this world, and lacks the ability to create a convincing alternate world, and certainly can't combine the two. 

Look, I'm not saying you're not allowed to like the story. You're right in saying that a person can like whatever they want. But just because you like something doesn't mean that it's well-crafted, that it's a good piece of writing. Obviously, I partially like it myself because I thought there was something there worth salvaging, but the original story is flimsy at best. My hypothesis is that the writer was quite young, based on its simplistic nature and lack of understanding of how the world works, and so I'm not saying that the author has anything wrong with them, or that they're stupid, but it just reads like the way a young kid writes. I understand that it's a popular story and likely appeals to people around the age of the author. But there's something to be said for looking at things, even things you like, in a critical fashion. 
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:iconjeffwolf1:
JeffWolf1 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
epici love it man
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks, dude!
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:iconjeffwolf1:
JeffWolf1 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
npz man
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:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Nips to you, too. :P
Reply
:iconjeffwolf1:
JeffWolf1 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
so jeff's mom was a movie camera person? and jeff was her star?
Reply
:iconallycat1326gmailcom:
allycat1326gmailcom Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like this one better than the original. It explains a lot more about his personality. And I get where you were coming from with the whole no nose thing.
Reply
:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Lol, thanks. 
Reply
:iconan-angels-plea:
an-angels-plea Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Student General Artist
asdlkfhg;lkajdf The nose thing. That is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves regarding Jeff.
Reply
:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Yep. Noses for everyone!
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:iconjolteonultra:
JolteonUltra Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014
Except for Voldemort
Reply
:iconmoon-phace:
Moon-Phace Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Okay, I'll allow that. But that's because they actually worked on and put thought into the character design. 
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:iconan-angels-plea:
an-angels-plea Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Student General Artist
ABSOLUTELY!
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